wrath of prawn

"A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:36:33 -0500

“A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.””

- Mary Dickson

[CW: discussion of rape culture and violence]

This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them.

I think that says a lot.

(via kaitg)

Its interesting also that these fears sit subconsciously until woman are asked to exams their responses to men. We women will operate with this fear in mind, the way we protect ourselves, make sure our friends know where we are when we go on a date, words that we use while interacting with men, all in hopes they will not kill us, but simultaneously love us.

I think bell hooks made a point about this in her series on love. Something along the lines of how can women hope to love and receive love from men when at the foundation of our relationships there is this strong fear of men. You can’t build true trust when your foundation is crumbling under you.

The scariest part is, once you recognize this fear, and face it, how do you address it when there is evidence of “good” men abusing, hurting, and killing women everyday?

(via becomingchichi)

I was in my early 20’s when one of my homegirls broke this down for me.

I was in a broken relationship, and one of the things was that bugged me at the time was that the girlfriend at the time would freak out whenever I got angry - I never yelled, never throw or hit things, mostly, I just needed some time to cool out.

“Why does she get scared when I’m angry? I’d never hit her!”

“But she doesn’t KNOW that. She can’t assume that. Look at how many dudes are out there pulling shit.”

And that stuck with me for a hot minute. The relationship was broken on so many levels anyway, but that fact still remains, as a man, I can’t fault women for assuming the worst in order to protect themselves, especially how the world’s patriarchy and misogyny rolls.

(via bankuei)

I’ve had continual discussions with Tchy about this, and I don’t expect to stop. It’s fair to say that there’s no one in the world that I trust more, and he has been extremely careful with me, but… the fact remains that he leans quite a bit towards the masculine, and this means that that fear is always there. The news of transmasculine folks abusing/raping people doesn’t help that fear any. :(

I’m learning not to apologize for it. It’s not my fault (nor, really, is it his) that I’m scared of dude-type people. But it’s always there. Which is another reason why I get so pissed off when trans men try to make transmisogyny about them.

(via kiriamaya)

This is an incredible thread of responses. I’ve seen this quote before, but not the dialogue that built up around it. The part about loud=violent hits home particularly hard for me. I am terrified of getting into irl arguments with men, especially when they get loud. It’s always going to sit in the pit of my stomach.

(via mizbingley)

That part resonates for me too, although from a completely different angle. Despite being more terrified of sexual violence than I am of anything other than my own brain, I do not hesitate to yell, confront, get up in the face of, threaten, even hit men twice my size and many times my strength. Faced with a threat of violence from men, I will either imply or state “I dare you to.”

I also, as previously established on this blog, have a death wish.

To me, that encapsulates everything about the violence, especially sexual violence, coded into relationships between men and women in our society: for a woman to assert herself in the face of maleness may require the woman in question (such as me) to be perpetually suicidal.

(via 14kgoldnyc)

Reblogging for commentary. I have been frightened and scared by men being loud with me, even if I don’t think they’ll be violent. Like people have said above, it’s just a latent response in your brain to fear violence from men.

I went out to dinner with someone a couple of weeks ago (LONG story, was supposed to be a group dinner but it ended up just being me & a strange man) and I told him I blogged about feminism and politics, and he went off on me. He told me feelings were bullshit and women just wanted special privileges, and then he said, “Women don’t give men enough credit for not being violent psychopaths. That’s what we are, deep down. We want to rape and pillage, and we don’t, and women don’t give us enough credit for that.” I burst into tears. That shit was terrifying.

(via stfuconservatives)

I too am reblogging this for the amazing commentary.

When supposed feminist ally men deny this very basic, simple truth - that’s how you know they are an ally to no one.

This all gets taught to women at a very young age, how dangerous the world is when you’re in it being a woman. I’ve been struggling to write about something that happened with my daughter a few weeks ago, how to form the words, but this is possibly the best context.

We were in the wine shop, in line to pay, and she was so excited to get her lollipop (in the time honored tradition of wine stores everywhere). A man two people ahead of us started fighting with the woman behind the counter about how much money he’d given her. As I was moving her behind my body, my daughter froze, and when I say froze, I mean wasn’t moving a muscle except to shake.

It sorted itself out pretty quickly. We paid and left.

Once we got back into the car, she started crying. I asked her what was the matter, and she said, “Mama, I was so scared. When men get angry they shoot people.”

That’s a direct quote. When men get angry, they shoot people.

I asked her, “Baby, why do you think that?” She replied, “on NPR, that’s what happens. When men get really mad they kill people. That guy was really mad, what if he had a gun? What would you do?”

The talk we had afterwards was difficult; no one said parenting was easy. But this is the life we live as women. If my 9 year old understands it, then men of the world, alleged feminist allies, Nice Guys, random douches on the street, and even actual non-dangerous men: so can you.

(via someauthorgirl)

I’ve reblogged this quote before, I think. But reblogging now for the amazing commentary.

I was having a discussion with my father and brother the other day. We were talking about receiving threats of rape or violence via the internet. Their whole argument was “just ignore it and walk away from your computer”. Amazing solution. Can’t believe I never thought of that. It’s so clever because we all know that when you leave your keyboard the threat of violence disappears.

Urgh.

(via lavenderlabia)

This has really clicked something in my head. Like, fuck. This entire commentary just fucking did me in.

(via queensassyofthefatties)

It amazes me that a lot of men just haven’t figured this out. Worse still, those who refuse to accept it.

I saw a ridiculous post recently stating something like “if women want equal rights, men should be able to punch them in the face”. The person who wrote it was claiming to be pro-equality, and yet using violent imagery to demonstrate this and calling himself (obviously he was male) rational.

The amount of times I’ve heard a guy complain that “all he did” was shout at his girlfriend and she flew off the handle and freaked out and went “crazy”, but honestly he’s never touched her! … Get a clue.

(via catscratch-fever)

I was bullied solely by boys, so I thought this underlying fear of guys was not normal, but thinking about it, violence entwined with masculinity is part of almost every narrative, victimhood is part of femininity. Which is sad on both sides…

(via emetophobesunite)

terriblesting: From the greatest tumblr ever Cosmarxpolitan

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:27:11 -0500

terriblesting:

From the greatest tumblr ever Cosmarxpolitan

beben-eleben: A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:13:29 -0500

beben-eleben:

A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

jhenne-bean: jamietheignorantamerican: jacketlizard: battroid:...

Wed, 15 May 2013 08:49:20 -0500

jhenne-bean:

jamietheignorantamerican:

jacketlizard:

battroid:

takeawaygirl:

thegreatdesutree:

Unfortunately, this is a real restaurant and that is a real response. Their page was not hacked and thus trolled (that I know of). The owners are just really crazy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6LY7TJ16pg

holy FUCK watch that video

i just watched that video (and the part 2). unbelievable

I’m like 7 minutes in and jesus christ

HOLY BALLS, I SAW THE FULL EPISODE ABOUT THIS TRAIN-WRECK OF A RESTAURANT.

GORDON RAMSAY LEFT THE RESTAURANT WITHOUT CHANGING IT BECAUSE HE SAID HE WAS SCARED AND DISTURBED BY THE PLACE AND IT’S OWNERS.

LET ME REPEAT THAT.

GORDON FUCKING RAMSAY SAID HE WAS SCARED AND DISTURBED BY HOW VICIOUS THE OWNERS ARE.

lmao, i heard “scottsdale arizona” and knew all i needed to know.

jayrockin: This is Housebird. It is a titanic archetype that...

Tue, 14 May 2013 11:33:48 -0500

A big head. The six foot ruler on top of this head is named Thaddeus.

Spooky scary lazily-drawn skeleton.

An airplane, but infinitely more ridiculous.

jayrockin:

This is Housebird. It is a titanic archetype that someone decided to build a small house on and give as a gift to the mayor of New Pari. Then, after a complex series of accidents, my protagonists “borrowed” Housebird and now they all live on it. It’s like living on an private jet that eats trees sometimes and has a (pretty dumb) mind of its own.

The small room jutting out the back of the house is the control room, where you can set coordinates and send them as telepathic impulses to Housebird. Housebird usually obeys them because hey, it’s an immortal bird the size of a four story building, it’s not like it has anything better to do. There is also a direct steering controller, but it is much less reliable as Housebird usually ignores it.

The house itself is a ridiculous feat of engineering that I’m still working on designing. If you are wondering ‘but how the fuck does X work’ there is most likely already an explanation, I’m just not writing it here.

Housebird is named that because my protagonists are not very good at naming things. Though it does eventually acquire the nickname “Mayor,” because it is the ‘mayor of a city containing exactly one house.’

cooldogs: Laika cigarettes, 1957, Russia

Tue, 14 May 2013 10:40:11 -0500

cooldogs:

Laika cigarettes, 1957, Russia

Photo

Tue, 14 May 2013 09:47:04 -0500

New York was amazing. I ate so much food. Diana did wonderfully and I have a video and...

Tue, 14 May 2013 08:54:18 -0500

New York was amazing. I ate so much food. Diana did wonderfully and I have a video and wurblewurblewurble why am I awake oh my god

How to Look at Art, Arts & Architecture, Ad Reinhardt,...

Tue, 14 May 2013 07:51:45 -0500

How to Look at Art, Arts & Architecture, Ad Reinhardt, January 1947

I TALKED TO DAVID CHANG.

Sat, 11 May 2013 23:36:17 -0500

I TALKED TO DAVID CHANG.

Oh my god I’ve missed the city. See if I go back to Wisconsington, just see if I do.

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:32:26 -0500

Oh my god I’ve missed the city.

See if I go back to Wisconsington, just see if I do.

and then hyperbole and a half managed to destroy six weeks of very careful composure and not...

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:39:08 -0500

and then hyperbole and a half managed to destroy six weeks of very careful composure and not thinking about certain things

or people

awkwardsituationist: high tide and low tide in great britain....

Thu, 09 May 2013 20:58:02 -0500

awkwardsituationist:

high tide and low tide in great britain. photographs by michael marten

lickypickystickyme: If grandmothers around the world had a...

Thu, 09 May 2013 11:33:51 -0500

lickypickystickyme:

If grandmothers around the world had a rallying cry, it would probably sound something like “You need to eat!”

Photographer Gabriele Galimberti’s grandmother said something similar to him before one of his many globetrotting work trips. To ensure he had at least one good meal, she prepared for him a dish of ravioli before he departed on one of his adventures.

“In that occasion I said to my grandma ‘You know, Grandma, there are many other grandmas around the world and most of them are really good cooks,” Galimberti wrote via email. “I’m going to meet them and ask them to cook for me so I can show you that you don’t have to be worried for me and the food that I will eat!’ This is the way my project was born!”

The project, “Delicatessen With Love”, took Galimberti to 58 countries where he photographed grandmothers with both the ingredients and finished signature dishes.

He acted as photographer and stylist during each shoot with the grandmothers, taking a portrait of both the women and the food they made for him.

From top to bottom:

Inara Runtule, 68, Kekava, Latvia. Silke (herring with potatoes and cottage cheese).

Grace Estibero, 82, Mumbai, India. Chicken vindaloo.

Susann Soresen, 81, Homer, Alaska. Moose steak.

Serette Charles, 63, Saint-Jean du Sud, Haiti. Lambi in creole sauce.

The photographer’s grandmother Marisa Batini, 80, Castiglion Fiorentino, Italy. Swiss chard and ricotta Ravioli with meat sauce.

Normita Sambu Arap, 65, Oltepessi (Masaai Mara), Kenya. Mboga and orgali (white corn polenta with vegetables and goat).

Julia Enaigua, 71, La Paz, Bolivia. Queso Humacha (vegetables and fresh cheese soup).

Fifi Makhmer, 62, Cairo, Egypt. Kuoshry (pasta, rice and legumes pie).

Isolina Perez De Vargas, 83, Mendoza, Argentina. Asado criollo (mixed meats barbecue).

Bisrat Melake, 60, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Enjera with curry and vegetables.

child-of-clay: im-electric-sympathy: i made sum pancakes oh...

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:40:19 -0500

child-of-clay:

im-electric-sympathy:

i made sum pancakes

oh my god are you shitting me

buggerygrips: special-snowflake-hall-of-fame: I personally...

Thu, 09 May 2013 09:47:00 -0500

buggerygrips:

special-snowflake-hall-of-fame:

I personally like having the word “bromance,” it describes a non-sexual, platonic romance, which we don’t really talk about a lot in our over sexualized society, even though they were common and accepted in centuries past. It’s been somewhat helpful to me, personally, there are a lot of ships that people ship that I don’t, even though it’s obvious that the couple in question deeply loves each other. “Bromance” nicely describes those relationships: they love each other, are soulmates, etc, but I just cannot imagine them having sex/getting married/etc. Acknowledging that relationships don’t have to be sexual to be close/romantic/whatever is not “queer erasure.” If we want to get into the oppression olympics, I can claim that they are committing asexuality erasure by not acknowledging that not all relationships have to be sexual.

“Queer romance” sounds like, well, a romance involving queer people, not a romantic friendship.

—

Snow: Tumblr always tackling issues that no one else thinks or cares about.

1) wtf did i just read
2) can i get back those IQ points somehow
3) where has that buzzword bingo card got to

aniseshaw: ‘The Great Gatsby’ Still Gets Flappers...

Thu, 09 May 2013 08:54:12 -0500

aniseshaw:

‘The Great Gatsby’ Still Gets Flappers Wrong

Through their writings, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald—the young, glamorous literary couple du jour—defined the Jazz Age as we know it. Scott declared his Southern belle wife, whom he married in 1920, “the first American flapper.” The inspiration for Daisy Buchanan in “The Great Gatsby,” Zelda was known for her wild antics, like drunkenly jumping, fully clothed, into the fountain at New York’s Plaza Hotel. Even as a kid, she was always creating a scene: She stole a car when she was 8; she went swimming in a flesh-colored bathing suit in her teens….

But Zelda, as fearless and trail-blazing as she was, can’t even embody the flapper movement fully. For one, it was not all white women, as NYU’s Modern America reports: “For the time being, the bob and the entire Flapper wardrobe, united blacks and whites under a common hip-culture.” Secondly, the flapper’s rebellion against Victorian sexual mores didn’t start among the high-society debutantes, but in “working-class neighborhoods and radical circles in the early 1900s before it spread to middle-class youth and college campuses.”

Pictured: African American Flappers at a football game in Washington D.C. from the Smithsonian Institute.

Here I am Not quite dying My body left to rot in a hollow...

Thu, 09 May 2013 00:17:56 -0500

Here I am
Not quite dying
My body left to rot in a hollow tree
Its branches throwing shadows
On the gallows for me
And the next day
And the next
And another day

crepesofwrath: I would really like some vintage kitchen...

Thu, 09 May 2013 00:14:52 -0500

crepesofwrath:

I would really like some vintage kitchen appliances. Please.

owlsareraptors: partyanimalliberationfront: redefiningbodyimage...

Wed, 08 May 2013 23:06:51 -0500

owlsareraptors:

partyanimalliberationfront:

redefiningbodyimage:

misha-bawlins:

gaymermaids:

foxylikeme:

Condom commercial written and directed by a woman. Condoms don’t need to be sexy, we just need to know that they’ll work! Fucking brilliant.

this is awesome

A++++

WAIT - A CONDOM COMMERCIAL THAT DOESN’T SEXUALIZE WOMEN

WHAAAAAAT?!

Actually the greatest

OMFG EFFECTIVE MARKETING EFFECTIVE MARKETING EFFECTIVE MARKETING I FORGOT THAT THAT WAS A THING